News Report: PUMA attacks are on the rise.
PUMA’s are very dangerous creatures, inhabiting every state and every major city. These predators congregate wherever sore losers are found, feasting on the blood of the ill-informed and the apathetic. PUMA’s are vicious hunters, usually attacking from behind or underneath their prospective prey. They are known to be afraid of 47-year-old African-American men, changing the status quo in Washington, blue dresses, and the word “hope.” Their demeanor is characterized by bitterness and frenzy, and they have been known to attack without provocation. If approached by a PUMA, mention the words “Iraq,” “winning fair and square,” and/or “maybe in 2012″ and they will, according to rumor and latest reports, burst into flames and be reborn again from the ashes of their vindictiveness and callousness. Read the rest of this entry »